forestforthetrees

kicking myself in the ass

2007-10-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

OK I've got to shake this. My friends haven't kicked my ass for me, so I better do it. Must get out of the blues.

Above, is the picture of my best friend. my bud, my companion for 18 years. He is in cat heaven now. I hope he is having lots of fun. He deserves it. It is hard on me though. He is sort of the only one that really took my crap and came back to be schmoozed and pet. What a pal.

This blog is dedicated to him. He went from a frisky little fluff ball. Running up the stairs he could barely jump. He looked so cute tumbling around fiercely batting at our feet. He was a gift given to me. I at first never wanted pets as gifts, but I couldn't resist him. He chose me too. So, I guess we were stuck with each other. He had attitude right from the beginning (much like his owner) but still had that warmth to come and snuggle on the couch.

I will miss him...I do miss him.

I suppose life is like that.

still kicking....

2007-10-27T22:37:00.000-07:00

It’s funny how life has a way of giving you the perspective you run so hard to escape. Inevitably it catches up with you. That is this year.

I just realized that I had better write as the last post read rather bleakly. I didn’t want people to think I had offed myself. Things are getting better, slowly. I am not at work at the moment, which really forces you to look at things. Well, for me it does.

What am I looking at you may ask? A person who has put so much time into work there is not much life left when that isn’t there. Our society describes success as money, house, car, and job. I know not all people, but society as a whole. What can you do to break out of that?
It is the bohemian in me. I want to create, live, love, relax, read...but none of that pays the bills. Create maybe, but that is so subjective.

I will lighten up soon, I hope. I want my sense of humour back. I think it went on vacation.

I want my joy back...I hope that didn’t leave me all together.

life changes = reflection

2007-08-30T21:39:00.000-07:00

Well, I seem to have time on my hands so I am back in bloggerland for awhile.

Big changes... that what does it. Not just the ones you see coming like a MAC truck on a Saskatchewan highway, but those that sneak up on you and bite you in the ass.
They make your life come to a grinding halt, and then you have to try to piece together a. What the hell just happened? and b. What the hell do I do now?

Not an easy answer and no one can help you in those decisions. I am not talking about should I take a new job?... should I buy that car? those easy choices.

No this is more like...my life is totally changed and it will never get back to the way it was. It may be OK and it may work out in another path. It won't be the same because the experience has changed me forever. It is irreversible. I guess all experiences are;those that count anyway.

check out my travel blog

2007-06-02T15:08:00.001-07:00

Hi bloggers,

Travelling Europe. Check out the Break Free Europe blog from my home page for some fun and frolic!!!!
Hope all is well in blogger land.

Wow it is already March !!1

2007-03-03T12:25:00.000-08:00

Just a little nature in the city.

I can't believe it has been so long since I have been away. I hope someone still knows I am here???

My year has started with a bang. Lots of travel in the year, new and cool people met, new contacts, new job potentials, new endeavors, and new furniture. What more can there be in the first two months of the year.

Well, there is still the old shit too, but that gets spread nice and thin when there is a lot of new good stuff to smear it. I am feeling a little graphic today I see.

Well, this is a short note to say I will be writing soon.

Holiday HOHO

2006-12-22T12:55:00.000-08:00

I have to blog!!! I need to blog!! …well no not really. However, I have an anecdote.

S and I were out for a much needed sanity break from life. We were having a lovely chat and food and were heading to the theatre to see what all the poop was about with Casino Royale. I am not a fan of the ‘new’ guy, but people have continued to hound me not to make a rash decision and see it before I make up my mind.

So I went, but I digress.

Where was I? Oh yes. S and I were on our way over to the theatre. As we were crossing a crosswalk, a car comes down the road. It was a little too fast for my liking, and didn’t really wait for us to get across the road. S and I could have easily been clipped. Well, we could have...

“What is so strange?” you may ask. “In Calgary that happens consistently.” Well, I have to point out to give the complete impact of this that I walk with a cane. In the winter, I walk slowly (well always slowly, but in winter more slowly…almost backwards).

This car had a DISABLED placard in the window. Call me bizarre, but does anyone else see the irony in this?
Ahh the Holidays! Bringing out the vindictive and ill mannered in all of us.
I am not a scrooge, but this time of year is difficult in so many ways.

SO, I wish all of you in Blog land, a very peaceful, restful, fun holiday, and enough booze not to kill your relatives.

Happy Holidays!!!!

Trees and Remembrance

2006-11-11T20:59:00.000-08:00

I have to mention that my trees are looking rather beautiful. We have had a bit of a snowstorm here in the north and it makes for hunkering down. Well, that is my excuse anyway. I have been so busy in the last weeks that by the weekend or particularly this weekend I am lifeless and void of enthusiasm.
I went to some friends’ house on Friday after a regular workday. We had a lovely evening of food and fun. We always have lots of laughs. By the time I got home, it was 1 am. Well, I was wrecked.
This morning I had hopes of accomplishing something. I guess I did. I went through the millions of emails I have put off (at least some of the millions). I wrote the article due to a newsletter I submit to and I had a nap. I think that is relatively productive, especially the nap.
As I read and hear about the crazy schedule everyone has I wonder where my resignation went to when I came back from my South American trip to balance work, social life, and home. I have since been sucked back into the vortex of Calgary life in the rat race. I have to force myself to socialize as my jobs take all the energy that I have to finish what needs to be done. There simply must be a way for me to keep a better perspective. Winning the lottery may be a good start…but fat chance of that.
Luckily my friend on Friday night kicked me in the ass and told me there was no way I was jamming out of a night out… Thanks friend ...Sometimes a kick in the ass is what you need most.

We have Remembrance Day today. ‘Lest We Forget.’
Peace to everyone. Peace to the world.

I'M Blind!!!

2006-10-27T22:37:00.000-07:00

No not really!! I have just gotten a new monitor and wow, it is like the supernova of monitors. I think my retinas are scorched. Not to mention...when did I get the large print version. Wow, a few inches really do make a difference.
Well, I have been trying to make an appearance on here, but it has just been nuts at work!!
So, I have some random observations because that is all my shriveled tired brain can pump out tonight.

When people see you are struggling with something, why do others (we will call them the idiot masses) go out of their way to get in your way and make sure you are really hooped?

When you have too much to do, why do people at work volunteer you for more work?

I have noticed that I am part Ursa (that’s bear – Yogi or Bubba –Oh! Oh! I wanna be Smokie) because I feel like eating all the time and sleeping for about 6 months. We will forget about the butt plug…uhh wait a minute scratch that comment otherwise that may go a whole other direction.

My exhaustion is inextricably connected to how little patience I have which is in turn connected to how much restraint I have of telling someone to (^%(#^%@(#(@# … and have a nice day. I think that is a good balance.

Coffee mmmmmm coffee goood
Ok I think I am getting delirious…must go to bed.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

P.S. Ok delirious but anal retentive…looking up ‘spell check’ and Smokie was flagged…the suggestion -skokie…what the hell is a skokie. Someone was really drunk or stoned that day. Gotta luv that Windows…

What can I say?

2006-10-03T23:03:00.000-07:00

I feel the need to write a blog. I just think my wittiness is not at its full force as of late. I think this fast rat race is knawing at me. Where is the happy go lucky person…oh wait! that isn’t me that was Laura on Little House on the Prairie. Hahaha !My mistake.

Anywho, what was I getting at. I guess nothing. I am at a loss for words. Wow!
I don’t have any interesting stories or viewpoints to share. Have I lost my senses?
Maybe it is time for bed. I bet I will think up something really good right when I am going to sleep and then I will be too lazy to get up and record it. I may be bigger than Plato or Aristotle … if I could just remember what I thought.

A laugh for the day.

2006-10-01T10:28:00.000-07:00

Just something to give a chuckle. I don't know where I picked this up, but it touched my funny bone.

Fear or Respect?? tell me...

2006-09-26T23:52:00.000-07:00

Can someone name all these dic-tators...?

Here is a good forum topic for the blogosphere. Is respect and fear integrated or mutually exclusive? Can there be a combination of both? Can you have them both?

This was a topic that a friend of mine and I got on to when we were talking about discipline in the classroom. My idea of respect is a more idealized version of treating others well. If you treat them as important and needed then they should do the same in return.

Well, teaching a bunch of 16 –18 year olds, THAT goes right out the window. I needed a new strategy. I talked to my friend (also a teacher), and said person, suggested a more dictator like approach. He said, “Fear will make them do what you want.” Well, something like that anyway. That is what I ‘heard’ OK.

At first I buckled. “I can’t possibly do that! It is against everything passive in my personality!”, I thought. What about mutual respect and teaching these kids a different perspective?

I kept thinking about this topic because he was convinced that he had both fear and respect from his students. As I wound myself up to walk into the chaos of this hormonal class, I was still thinking about it.

After 15 minutes of not have order or attention, my inner dictator made an appearance. Lo and behold, I got attention. I still don’t know about the respect part, but the hell with that if I actually can get through the lesson plan. So much for idealism!

I can see why some animals eat their young…

my fall trees

2006-09-23T15:44:00.000-07:00

ahhh the beauty of Autumn!! If you don't love the cold... you gotta love the color!!

Reflective moments after a long week

2006-09-23T09:01:00.000-07:00

Somehow, after a long and tiring week, I feel exhausted. Yet, I am thinking about times when I was busier and seemed to make it through. I don’t know where this is coming from, but there it is.

Ever since I went to university I wondered, “Was this the best time in my life?” Most people’s university career is where they learn about themselves, grow as people, meet their spouses, or just find their path. I keep reflecting on to what things I gained in my academic career. I know I gained things, but it doesn’t seem like the best time in my life.
I was constantly tired, stressed about everything, broke, and no social life. Is that good? I don’t really consider it to be. I had good moments of course, but in 8 years, you would have to make moments, or go crazy. Some friends may say it didn’t work…

Why all this reflection after almost 2 years out? The alumni newsletter… I look through it and think, “Is this the school I went to?” I look at the proud alumni and how they love their alma mater. I really couldn’t care. What is the difference between their time there and mine? Did I not use the time there to improve my mind and receive skills to give me more, to give the world more? I think I spent my time very efficiently. So, why don’t I feel “attached” to the experience? I just feel like one of the faceless, nameless, have fallen through the cracks people.

I know my life is better now and I have better jobs, but that isn’t really the question.
The question is, “Why didn’t I feel part of the process?” It makes me wonder if that is how most of my life has been. Just the actions without the attachment to the feelings and moments. I guess that is what reflection does to you.

wasteful ...just plain wasteful

2006-09-02T09:18:00.000-07:00

It is a rant.. I couldn't even write yesterday! I was too pissed and tired to sit still and rant.

They always say one second can change your life. Well, in the full scope of things, this wasn't that dramatic, but it sure messed up my plans for the day.

Ok the "story". I had been in meetings all morning and had to meet up with a friend to work on a website. I needed to do other errands along the way. I should have had some foreshadowing of the afternoon when I forgot to print off some necessary documents at work. I didn't remember until I was half way to my next errand. I should have just packed it in then- head in the clouds.

On the way, I thought, "Oh, I am driving by the University. I should pick up those videos." I debated with myself for a few minutes. Do I feel like it? Don't I feel like it? Well, I decided to stop because they were partly for the friend I was going to see.

So, I veered off and tried to find parking ( I hate this town for that). I pulled into a service vehicle meter parking as close to the commedia center as possible (no parking zone). I figured I would be safe for a few minutes. I got out, notice my back windows were still open, and I needed change from the car. I get back into the car and close the windows, grab the change, and YES lock the doors...thinking that "hey why is the radio playing?" SLAM ....oh shit!!!!

Not too worried I thought, “I have AMA. I will just run in grab the stuff and call from there.” Why not from my cell you ask ??? Well, my cell isn't working...it won't hold a charge.
I get the stuff and call AMA roadside assistance. Ok, they say an hour and a half, but hopefully it won't be that long....hahahaaha
I have to say one good thing (silver lining- still somewhat positive) I was able to visit with some people I knew there. I also made friends with a few more parking people. How long did it take??

I know is in all of your thoughts....
I arrived at 2:30 pm

No not 1.5 hours...

No not 2 hours...

No not even 3 hours...

He arrived at 6:45 PM yes you heard it right...6:45 PM. I could have - I don't know DONE something.
Now granted, it isn't the fault of the guy in the truck, but I hate being told that is another half hour oh ...no sorry another half hour... ahhhhhhhhhhh
I got home at 7:30 and had nothing to show for what should have been a productive afternoon. Well, except for a sunburn on my nose.

It wouldn't have be so bad if I wouldn't have had two extremely important documents to deliver that day. I needed to start the bureaucratic process before the long weekend.
It is teaching me patience! I know it! Well, and maybe to get an extra key stashed on the car, so I don't have to go through this again.

Or maybe even-don't be so bubble headed to lock the keys in the car. MMM I wonder what I was thinking of...

Thanks for listening to the rant, I feel much better now!!!

Home from a remarkable trip

2006-08-05T20:16:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I am home, and I can't believe I left. It seems rather surreal. I loved it! I am glad to be home.

Reality is what you want it to be. I know that sounds a little strange, but we live on our own impressions, not necessarily, what is actually happening. When you are exposed to a different reality it changes your perception of ...well everything.

Sometimes it changes for the better and sometimes to the worse. Most times, it is a mix of both within the same situation. Life changing, either way.

I met wonderful people, wonderful places, and of course wonderful food. What more can you ask for? It is a very vibrant place where your senses explode. I have heard that from other travelers going to regions of India and other places. It is a fact. Sounds, sights, experiences, all inundate you daily and even at night. It never stops. I said to a friend before I was ready to leave for home that I have lived a lifetime in one single month.
That is what is feels like. If we could live that fully in the short time that we have on this earth...that would be worth it. That includes loving, helping, giving, seeing and feeling without hesitation. Without the fear of reproach... that would be something that most North Americans don't have any idea about.

I went there to share some knowledge, but in fact, I learned lessons that are far more precious. Ones I will never forget. I have left a part of me there in the hearts of all those that cared for me, helped me, and loved me.

That is what makes life worth living. That is what makes happiness.

Father’s Day

2006-06-18T00:24:00.000-07:00

I usually don’t think of father’s day anymore. After my father passed away, it was almost a relief not to think of it. I guess because whatever we tried to do was not …anything. I celebrate it now with my surrogate family. It isn’t the same, but I have a lot of respect and love for the man that is as good a father to me as my own was. Possibly more.

Retrospectively, parents can only do what they can, and they do it as best they can. I don't think my father was never taught to be loving or probably even to be loved. Who knows? The more time he is away the more I realize that I knew him not at all. I will never know him. I also know that is not solely my fault. He did not want to be known. He needed to be secret.
It makes me realize also that I don’t want to fall into the same trap, and I have been doing the same thing for a long time.

There are a lot of reasons to stay hidden…

I always wanted to learn things from my father. He was intelligent, knew many languages, was artistic and drew very well, could build things, and when I was young thought he could do anything. As I grew older, somehow that changed. His persona was slipping away from those childhood eyes. Now I saw a bitter, angry and very sad man. He had shut the door. Shut the door on me. I would no longer learn anything from him. I kept on hoping. Hope is not eternal.

So, to my belated father in his solitude and peace…for I know he is in a place where the pain of his life …what ever that may have been, has subsided. I wish for his happiness. More happiness than I think he had in his time with us here. I hope he is proud of what I do and wishes for my happiness as well.
Happy Father’s day … I miss you

as the tide turns..not a soap opera

2006-04-08T17:31:00.000-07:00

What a week! I was supposed to be on holidays..hahhahahahahha. Well, regardless of that I can’t say it was a bad week. Actually it was an action packed good week. I am just shock (well stunned might be more the word) at all the things that can happen in such a short time.
I found out last Thursday that I had lost one of my contracts so instantly panic ensued and I thought, “OH no!! I am going to be homeless, carless and far worse STARVE!!!”

Ok! Ok! So I was overreacting. You will be happy to know that depression followed very quickly, to take over from the panic. I simultaneously slept for several hours …or possibly days I can’t be sure.
I had promised one of my friends to go to the women’s expo on the weekend and had several social activities arranged so I couldn’t really show up in jimmies, so I pulled myself together. The women’s business expo was pretty good and had some information. It got me thinking anyway.

In between there, I drudgingly started updating my resume, contacting references, and writing (oh horror) cover letters! I searched the Internet and contacted fellow colleagues to get the word out. By Tuesday, I had resolved to the situation and thought well, I just have to get things going and find something.

By Wednesday early afternoon, I got a call from an employer and received a contract offer until end of June. I was ecstatic. I didn’t even have to look for that one. When did it start? Oh Thursday! No problem! So much for the holiday week!
I also had a lovely reprieve on Wednesday night when another friend gave me a spare ticket to go see Guys and Dolls. I highly recommend it. I am not really a huge musical fan, but this was amazing. It was a great night.

I worked and met with fellow participants on Thursday and then started class on Friday. Nothing like trial by fire. To add to the hubbub, I had a lead for a job on the previous Sunday from a friend when we were having brunch, for which I was now creating that perfect cover letter. On the same Thursday I was teaching, another employer called and wanted an interview on the next day. I had to postpone that until the following week. And finally…I know I am taking a deep breath. This morning I had a meeting about a project that I may be involved with in the near future and it is very exciting.
So, as the tide turns… (could be a new soap opera) I went from underemployed to super-employed. What was I worrying about…hahahahahaha I’m FABULOUS!!

Wow this was a long winded one…. I am tired- I need a beer…

2006-04-02T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hello fellow bloggers.

I thought I would make an appearance. Hope this brings a little amusement to you all.

I had posted on Jan 6, 2006 about dust-laden words that no one uses. Well, recently again, on one of my multitude of newsletters, I received an interesting thing. Thanks to Macmillan online for minutes of amusement. We start off with new words to use in the dating arena. This is the link if you are interested

http://www.macmillandictionary.com/resourcenew.htm

The first word ‘smirting’. I thought what ARE we teaching the second language learners. What on earth? I have never even heard this word. I was once again in my state of, “Wow, there are a lot of people that are going to be speaking English sure, but no one will understand them (or maybe it will only be me out in left field) because …well ‘smirt’?” My prescriptivism was kicking in…hmmm scary.
So, I calmed down a little and continued to read. That was my emotional brain talking. ;0) This is the meaning. It can also be used as a verb and as a person such as- He is a smirter.

smirting- noun - socialising in a romantic way whilst smoking outside a place such as a bar, restaurant, etc., where smoking is prohibited or illegal

As I type this, my spell check just corrected it as ‘smarter’. What has the world come to when spell check has better grammar than people?! Ok well, most people.

Then there is a word like “polyamorous”, kicking back to Greek/ Latin, but adding all sorts of meaning to the word to weigh it down. I continued to read and found a well-defined and interesting description of these words.

Another I found really interesting and possibly useful was ‘rendition’. You are saying to yourself, “So, that word is used often, nothing strange about that.” Well, this is the definition and context it is used in:

rendition also renditioning - noun -the practice of capturing a criminal suspect and handing them over to the authorities of a different country for interrogation or imprisonment

I guess this came about after the 9/11 disaster and this is an actual practice of sending suspected terrorists home to their countries for questioning.

So, what have I learned from this. Well, I think I will have a job for a really long time because those poor students, who are using those electronic dictionaries at every turn, are going to be up the creek without a paddle. I already hear that English vocabulary is so difficult because there are so many meanings attached to one word. You must know the context it is used in.

What else have I learned? Well, once again I am not as open minded as I thought. I need to get back to those linguistic classes that look at language as a growing changing entity. I guess I have just been focusing too much on one thing and needed to be shaken up a little. I may just keep looking through this selection of words and learn what I can.
I had been perusing the Ebonics slang and other slang sites so I will just add this to the list.

Maybe one day one of our fellow bloggers (I know new term too) will create a blook from all the writings.

What to be or what not to be...too many questions

2006-03-20T21:34:00.000-08:00

I haven’t really been inspired to write a blog recently. I am not sure of the reason. I guess I could chalk it up to semester end; it is busy; I am exhausted; I haven’t had time. All those sound reasonable, but they are also the same ‘excuses’ I use for everything. This somehow, to me anyway, makes them less sound.

So, why have I not been posting. I still haven’t figured that out. Along with the rest of my life, I am in a “ What am I doing?” state. I get into those quite often. This of course goes with the hand in hand “What do I want to do?” state. I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up …go figure.

I know this questioning part is because I have had to deal with management all week (hence the exhaustion). It would be a normal endeavour if it weren’t like banging your head up against a brick wall (I can show you the pattern on my forehead). I know I shouldn’t allow that to alter me from the path I am on, but it raises those inklings of if I am doing what I really want to be doing. I don’t think I am easily persuaded to change if I am decided on something. Some even say I am stubborn. I can’t see it… :0)

So, back to not posting. Perhaps I am in a cerebral state, and I often am, that doesn’t register to the fingers. I had some wonderful thoughts just as I was slumbering a few nights ago and thought, “Oh that is pretty good. I will remember that for the morning.” Well, we all know that didn’t happen. It was something about envy…It related to another part of the week. That is all I can recall.

Back to corrections….

tag de Jour

2006-03-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

I have been tagged by Turtle Guy and he has been patient to hear my answers. I hope they are not to flippent. I just tell em like I sees em!

1: Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?

Both. I love the classics and colour. It depends if it is good or Hollywood garbage. That is the more important question. NO remastered… it looks too fake to me.

2: What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?

Ummm- money, anything to do with money. Taxes,finance, investingggggg zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz huh! what ! oh, sorry dozed off.

3: MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music?

ALL!!! Give me all of it. Nothing like a good old fashioned vinyl. For inexpensive media give me MP3 and some CD. For ease of play, CD all the way. Tapes are great for listening in cars and mixing different music (Cds for this too). As long as it has music, it is all good!

4: You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?

I would be gone, gone, gone. I would also say this is an easy loophole to get around. I can’t tell them where I am going, but it doesn’t mean I can’t come back. So there. I would spend the money have a good time and come back. Maybe I will meet Billy Idol in first class. Mmmm that would be fun.

5: Seriously, what do you consider the world's most pressing issue now?

Pressing I think that is a funny word. Sounds like laundry. I don’t do pressing. Issues, I got lots of those I can talk about. There are just too many. Famine, hate, torture, strife, war, dead children, poverty… OK I am depressed now. Lets move on.

6: How would you rectify the world's most pressing issue?

No such thing. Not unless we are not humans anymore. Human nature! That is the problem…not enough good to balance out the power of the bad.

7: You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?

I don’t know about this one. I may come back and change this. I thought and thought about what I would change. I have to honestly say that everything has given me the perspective and thoughts of today. I wouldn’t be who I am if they wouldn’t have happened. However, if it was like those movies where people get into an accident and lose their memory for awhile and become a better person, I might consider that. Wait …the accident part isn’t so fun.

8: You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?

No way!! I am not messing with history. It was as it was the first time, bad and some good. Plus everthing is connected. If I change one thing, that has to somehow domino into another event. No way!!! Uhuh!! We have enough problems with the history we are creating today (see question 5).

9: A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole Opry: which do you choose?

I have to clarify, is there a female suprano singing ? Because I can’t sit through that!!! I like the opera otherwise. Can’t say I would choose the Opry off hand, but if there was someone good on stage, why not? Who is paying by the way? Can’t I have both? I would need to be taken out to dinner….hahahahahahhahahhahah ahhhh good one…no really who is paying?
Wait am I going alone? OK then uh that’s fine. I would go to the opera one night and then to the Opry when there was someone good… What restaurants are around there?

10: What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you'd like to solve?

You mean I could be Poirot, or Sherlock Holmes ( without the Laudanum addiction please). I don’t know if I want to do this. Most of the solved crimes are still mysteries to me because I can’t figure out how these people could be so devoide of feelings. That is the bigger mystery. Why do they do it in the first place? Nope nothing else is coming to me.

11: One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?

JRR Tolkien would be top on the list. Although there are several others, like Thomas Hardy, Jane Austen, Dostoyofsky, Plato, Copernicus, Ellis Peters, Agatha Christie, the list goes on. I would serve fowl with wild rice and root vegetables and eat it in the Medevil way. We would rip it apart with our hands and eat with gusto. This is brain food. Then we would sit by the fire and have sherry and discuss amongst ourselves. Things, great things, great thoughts, great ideas, points of view.

12: You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky - what's the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA That’s funny… I was trying to be serious about this one, but I just can’t. I don’t think I am an atheist, but I have never not done something because I thought I was going to heaven. I was damned a long time ago, so I have been told. So, I don’t think I can divulge the immoral act on this blog site. Well, actually there is more than one, but it is not the platform for venting such things…hehehehehe. No, it doesn’t have to do with a platform. Move on…

2006-02-26T22:27:00.000-08:00

I was reading through one of my usual e-newsletters yesterday and I had one of those, “ Ohh That’s why!!!!” moments. Over the past month I have been reading articles and information on disability and travel. I have been collecting data, so to speak. One article stated that Vancouver was the most accessible/ disable friendly city in Canada. I would have to agree just from the few times I have taken public transit there. Much better than in Calgary. Sorry for any bus drivers out there. Really, I appreciate you. I would not want your job for all the massages in the world. Calgary is not an easy city to get around at the best of times let alone with any type of disability.

Well, the Olympics in Turin are wrapping up and the mayor from Vancouver is traveling there to receive the flag to bring back to Vancouver.

In reading the article in this e-newsletter, it was brought to my attention that the mayor of Vancouver is a wheelchair user. I don’t really know any mayor from other cities so it isn’t really a surprise since I didn’t even know who he was. The epiphany was that this is why Vancouver is so accessible. I am sure it started before Mr. Sullivan, but it is quite obvious that his influence is to make it accessible- period. Not just disable friendly, but also there for everyone…lets say universal design …my favorite catch phrase. He sounds like that kind of person, since he also learned Italian and speaks Cantonese to communicate with others.

By the way, the girls kicked some excellent butt over there…Yeah Canada!!!!

2006-02-25T17:58:00.000-08:00

Today was the inaugural day of “The Illustrious Casual Book Club.” I think everyone enjoyed it. It was casual, and good conversation was had by all (I hope). There was of course some food, and for this cold and snow like day, a nice cup of tea.

We had a great backdrop for the book we were chatting about. The book was “The Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe” by C.S. Lewis. What backdrop you may ask? I look out onto a lovely forest. Today for everyone’s pleasure the trees were white with snow icing and my resident momma deer was having lunch with us. We could have easily been walking through the wardrobe and stumbled on the lamppost. Perhaps we could be in Mr. Tumnus’s living room for our tea.

I have never had a problem with fantasy. I rather like reading it. I can easily be taken into another land or time where there is as much evil as there is in reality. Somehow it is easier to stomach when you know that good will win out. Not so, I guess, in real life. Fantasy novels allow the rejuvenation of faith, I guess. Especially, they help to keep the faith in human kind and in something good, that which is really lacking in most other parts of life.

Today is the perfect day to sit with friends and chat. Some people popped in for a short time and some stayed longer. It was all good. The next book club day is TBA and we will see what the topic will be. What a good excuse to get together.

where Oh where has the sanity gone?

2006-02-19T21:44:00.000-08:00

I was on the phone with a friend tonight, we were discussing the pandemics, and general disruption the world is in. It came to me some of the paradoxes that exist. For example, on the market there are all the cleaners with antibacterial/ kill all but .01% living things in your house. Then on the other hand, we have people going in for pig salmonella injections right into the face. Botox is the market name. Sure! Of course! That makes sense! Let's kill off everything around us so that we can inject it right into our bodies. That can’t possibly have any effects on us, especially if it makes us look good.

How can a society be so neurotic about something that people have lived with since the dawn of time…ohhh bacteria? Hello, we need bacteria in life. No! but that does nothing for our vanity nor for the multi-billion dollar pharmaceutical/ cosmetic industries. All the “bad bugs” line up over there (aka ones that don’t make money) and all the “good bugs” line up here (aka make lots of money for us. We don’t care if it kills people).

Lets not forget to talk about the disposable- everything we have now. Since we are talking about cleaning, lets look at the disposable cleaning products. Are we not supposed to be environmentally friendly nowadays? I guess that is also just when it is convenient. What happened to the old fashioned mop, or a broom? No, I guess that is just flushed down the toilet.

I think the root of it is that there is just too much money. People who have it, just don’t know what to do with it.(That isn’t me; however, I know where all my pennies end up.) Couldn’t they just build a nice building or something?

There was a time where people, who had a lot of money, at least threw it away on big parties and built ‘over the top’ chateaus. They maybe even commissioned a painter or two. At least 100’s of years later we have places to visit and museums to go to. What do we have in the 21st Century? We have faces with no expression and clean toilets with no scrub brush beside it. Ahh that is what I call advances!!

2006-02-17T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today was the kind of day I love. I don’t have to go to work (outside the home anyway) and it is frigid outside (not as bad as yesterday but I hate the cold). It is the perfect day to pull on the house sweats, the slippers you never show guests, and the torn sweatshirt that only the cat would love. All this to sit around the house, putter, clean, have a nap, do some work, have another cat nap. Somewhere in the midst of this to look outside basking in the sun, nice , warm and quiet. That is what I call a day. All by myself… (Ok everybody sing :0)
It is a day for not looking at the clock and racing to the next appointment or obligation. It is for doing what you feel like doing not what you have to do.

These days come far to rarely because not only do you need the time to be, but you also need to stop thinking, worrying, fixating, being hurried, staying angry, being frustrated, and any other ‘rat race’ emotion that takes over our lives and forces it sharp teeth into our souls.

It is my day in the sun with a good book, a great cup of coffee, some good food and the cat. Ahhhhhh! regeneration of the mind.
I think I will go fix myself a drink…

2006-02-08T20:30:00.000-08:00

Tonight, after what seems like a long time, I was able to do something spontaneously. I had been wondering if I had lost the art of doing something, anything, just because I felt like doing it without analyzing it to death or feeling guilty. I don’t know why tonight was the night, but there it is.

I had an interesting day being on an interview panel and realizing I am taking the world and myself way too seriously. How does this happen to a person? I pride myself on being laid back. Well, recently I have noticed a more judgmental, edgy, rigid person appearing in the mirror. Is it all the horrible world events crashing in on my psyche, or am I just getting to be that old crotchety woman with the cat? Which ever it is, today, my interviewing partner gave me a look at myself. No mirror was necessary. It was clear enough. I thought myself open minded, but maybe not as much as I had hoped. I feel that I am slipping into conventions. I am not a person to be conventional… What is happening? It is very disturbing. I think I need to think about this. Maybe I have thought too much….

If fellow bloggers have some input, that would be great.

election and no fun

2006-01-27T22:55:00.000-08:00

Finally, I can write a blog once again. Somehow, I feel I am talking to myself. Mmm I guess that isn’t too much from the usual.

This last week was a little traumatic with the election and all. Do I see a Red, White, and Blue Maple Leaf? That would be the name Harper. Oh look I think his lips are attached to someone’s a… Oh! no sorry, my mistake. I guess I need to be happy in the fact that we are allowed the choice to elect any…uh person into office. Not my first choice of words, but this is a public forum. I don’t want the guys in the black suits and glasses picking me up …oh sorry that is the U.S. – Such an influence.

Work, work, work. I promised myself that I would have some fun in the New Year, and not be consumed by that 4-letter word. Well, I can’t say that I have had much luck. I just seem to get through the week in exhaustion and then collapse on the weekends. I have been pondering this problem for some time now.
So, what is the remedy? If anyone is reading this…advice? Somehow, I feel I am talking to myself.

That is all the enlightenment I can muster for one night.

Taxes!...I thought we were in an election...I still have to pay taxes?

2006-01-13T22:08:00.000-08:00

ARRRRG!!!
I just received my tax forms in the mail. I guess that means I have to actually organize my receipts. I hope I don’t have to pay money. Lets face it, I am not a millionaire. Oh wait; I wouldn’t HAVE to pay taxes if I was because my money would be in the Cayman Islands or wherever the tax shelters are nowadays.

I sometimes wonder if they can take out that part of my brain to stop being such an upright and straight-laced citizen. Why can’t I just be a crook and not worry about the right thing? Being ‘good’ is way too much work sometimes without much reward. I know! I know! Having a clear conscious is its own reward. Mmm hmmm! Well, tell that to the people with their hand out all the time.

It is Friday the 13th. I am not really superstitious. I couldn’t be!! I have deleted millions of those “ Don’t delete or else” emails and none of those things have happened to me. I figure I have gotten enough ‘bad end of the sticks’ in my life already. What else could possibly go wrong …except death? But as the new young grim reaper on TV says, “All you have time for is to say %&(#*%&#.”

I am not complaining about my life! So, all you fellow bloggers do not have to comment on that. I feel very blessed and content (but still a doer :0) in my life. That doesn’t mean it has been a bed of roses, or rainbows and sunshine all the time. It can be a bit of a dichotomy …no?

Maybe I should have bought a lottery ticket today. I could be hiding money off on the Cayman Islands too! Wouldn’t that be a treat? Just like all the big boys.

First week back- and already flack ( see it even rhymes)

2006-01-12T21:09:00.000-08:00

Wow! I survived my first week back to work. I know that may be a poor excuse for not blogging, but you know …it is just one of those things. I have to say that when a person gets away from a situation/ routine, it becomes evident how much the everyday can affect a person. It’s weird that it is usually a negative affect. Things that are trivial become bigger and bigger. Situations, which on a regular day seem harmless, become catastrophes. People who regularly you don’t mind or even enjoy being around; you want to kill. These are the pre-break thoughts. A Jekyl and Hyde scenario shall we say.

I wonder what endorphins or chemical imbalances cause us to change our perspective. This could be a breakthrough to stop those leaders who want to kick some ass. If we could give them a different perspective, maybe they wouldn’t go to war. However, I digress.
My week of work was pretty good. I like the fact that I need 2/3 less preparation time. So, why no blogging? Well, I had thoughts of many things to write, but they weren’t witty, or interesting. I guess I just thought and it didn’t get down onto the blog. I am a thinker, you know.

It has been an odd 2006 so far. ..not bad so much, just weird.

Did I have revelations? Well, I am working on that. I am not sure if they were that so much as different perspectives due to situations and conversations. I guess that has been utmost on my mind. How people think of things. It really creates all sorts of havoc if two people do not have the same viewpoint. It has become more evident recently. Who knows maybe I have just been paying more attention.

Well, That is it. That is the ramble.

How astute and sedulous are you?

2006-01-05T21:50:00.000-08:00

Everyday I receive the “word of the day”. Sometimes they are worth a read sometimes, although novel, are such archaic, dust laden words that only those authors that have too much time on their hands would use them. You know the ones, I know you do. Although, I have to say that these archaic words are helpful in reading literature of the past. Don’t get me wrong, all knowledge is good knowledge…but who is ever going to use these words. I mean if you take a look at the proficiency of the English language now! Well, call me prescriptivist, but how hard is it to make a complete sentence without using ‘like’ 600 times. So, if we can use a vague word such as ‘like’ for all purposes then why would we need words like (notice one proper use of like)- redivivus pronounced red-uh-VY-vuhs.
Or, today’s word:
exegete \EK-suh-jeet\, noun-A person who explains or interprets difficult parts of written works. Exegete is from Greek exegetes, from exegeisthai,"to interpret," and is related to [4] exegesis.
Or, even one of my favorites, infracaninophile. Ahh yes, that will be my downfall, being an infracaninophile. No, I don’t use it in everyday dialogue. I think I would be looked at as if I had 2 heads. Don’t think I won’t try it at the next party I go to though. Someone may want to give me a soothing salve or something.
What is this trend at the moment to dumb everything down? Why are we now ashamed of the knowledge for which we have continually searched? I recently had a rather heated discussion with a colleague about ‘plain language’. The colleague attested that people who speak with large words and vocabulary are pompous and elitist. There is no reason for it and everything should be put into plain language. I understand where this person was coming from in the context of literacy. Of course, many people are functionally illiterate, or illiterate. Possibly, they have a learning disorder, or brain injury of some sort. However, to exorcise all the elaborate words out of our language so that people don’t “feel bad” is unrealistic. I wonder if anyone has ever asked the said people if they want their contemporaries only to speak to them in small or frequently used words. That just says that they don’t have the capacity to learn if they so desire. If they don’t desire it, then that is fine. I don’t think it should be mutually exclusive. Once again, I have run across this attitude to get rid of one in order to engage the other. Why is there no balance? Those dictionary people would really be out of a job, wouldn’t they? Not to mention what that would do to the lawyers!! Ok well, no one would really worry about that, but they are people too. I think.
P.S. As I was writing this blog, I even learned something. ‘Laden’ as I have used it, is an adjective and does not change form. It comes from the verb lade (reminds me of “The Princess Bride” when they are trying to bring the hero back to life. The old wizard doesn’t want to help them and instead of saying it magic word was ‘love’ the hero spoke, the wizard says, “no, I distinctly hear to lathe.” Well, I thought it was funny.). Even though many people I have heard pronounce it as ladened. Well it may only have been me, but hey…that is just the assiduous student of life I am.

My Desk IS CLEAN...for now

2006-01-03T16:38:00.000-08:00

Well, I have spent the day 'cleaning' my desk. Why do I keep this stuff? I continue to come across articles, advertisements, notes, whatever. I read them after holding on to them for months and go, "What was I keeping this for?" I guess I have come to conclude that I am an information hound, and it is a sickness... There must be a therapy group for that somewhere. There is for everything else.
So, why am I cleaning mundane and meaningless material when I have a free day? Good question to ask myself. Inevitably, I know that if I don’t do it now it will stay like that until the next break and it will take me twice as long to clean it. Instead of part of one day…several perhaps. It is all exponential. Ohh I did a math analogy…good for me (patting self on back). I have jumped into the New Year with ‘doing’.
That is it for now. I just needed to say, “MY DESK IS READY FOR THE NEXT DISASTER” ;0 )

2006-01-02T14:54:00.000-08:00

I have once again been convinced to try new technology and expand the already diverse and busy life of me(It really wasn't that hard to convince me). I think I will start off a little slow with this and not get too personal or opinionated. I know those who know me that will eventually read this will be counting the minutes until that is a voided comment.
What will happen in 2006? What will be the goals and anticipated results? That will only be seen on January 1,2007. Isn't life exciting? It certainly is. I had recently had chats with friends and acquaintances about our retrospective of 2005. Some said they had a great year and had substantial reasons for this response, while others, had a rather disappointing and negative response. This began me pondering why people do not see the most obvious things and continue to make mystery of nothing. Shall we say not seeing the forest for the trees? I know someone has created this line, if anyone knows whom, I would be interested to discover it. I feel; however, that I can use it without repercussions (since I have not claimed it my own invention).
I hope all of you have a forest to stroll in, and a garden in which you may rest.