Tonight, after what seems like a long time, I was able to do something spontaneously. I had been wondering if I had lost the art of doing something, anything, just because I felt like doing it without analyzing it to death or feeling guilty. I don’t know why tonight was the night, but there it is.
I had an interesting day being on an interview panel and realizing I am taking the world and myself way too seriously. How does this happen to a person? I pride myself on being laid back. Well, recently I have noticed a more judgmental, edgy, rigid person appearing in the mirror. Is it all the horrible world events crashing in on my psyche, or am I just getting to be that old crotchety woman with the cat? Which ever it is, today, my interviewing partner gave me a look at myself. No mirror was necessary. It was clear enough. I thought myself open minded, but maybe not as much as I had hoped. I feel that I am slipping into conventions. I am not a person to be conventional… What is happening? It is very disturbing. I think I need to think about this. Maybe I have thought too much….
If fellow bloggers have some input, that would be great.
I had an interesting day being on an interview panel and realizing I am taking the world and myself way too seriously. How does this happen to a person? I pride myself on being laid back. Well, recently I have noticed a more judgmental, edgy, rigid person appearing in the mirror. Is it all the horrible world events crashing in on my psyche, or am I just getting to be that old crotchety woman with the cat? Which ever it is, today, my interviewing partner gave me a look at myself. No mirror was necessary. It was clear enough. I thought myself open minded, but maybe not as much as I had hoped. I feel that I am slipping into conventions. I am not a person to be conventional… What is happening? It is very disturbing. I think I need to think about this. Maybe I have thought too much….
If fellow bloggers have some input, that would be great.
posted by wthenrest | 8:30 PM
4 Comments:
Interesting post.
I think it's good to be challenged on who we are, what we think and why we do what we do... If you get challenged too much, the result is often rebellion or collapse, but just the right amount can take you to new levels of understanding, I think.
Keep us posted...
Fascinating. I too catch myself getting judgemental or intolerant and I wonder "who the hell IS that, where did the Z I know and love go?!?"
I get that way when I wander too far into the morass of materialism we live in - I start comparing things in an unhealthy way instead of accepting them. I judge instead of observing. I start worrying about what's right, what's wrong, and What People will Think. For me, I usually need to hunker down, get grounded, get inspired and reconnect to the beauty and love in the universe, so I can see past/ through the idiocy of my thought patterns. That usually sets me straight.
Psychologically speaking? ;)
Kidding!! But on a side note have you ever read Sophie's World by Jostein Gaarder? There's a part in there that speaks of the wonder in the world that children have because everything is new to them, and there are no thought patterns, organization to the universe, and no "normal way of acting" to them. As people, I think as we gain experience we tend to start fitting the world into identifiable patterns that we have seen before and thereby lose both the wonder and the "open-mindedness" When you've already seen it, and you know where it's going after all, why stick around for the punch-line? I figure it's like articulatory laziness, and I dub it thought laziness, and goodness knows everyone does it to some extent too!
I figure as long as we know to keep an eye out for all our personal stereotypes, we should be fine! =) Whatever happened couldn't have been THAT bad! (Fair warning - I may tackle you to get the story this is attached to)
People change...and you can start down the road to rigidity maybe, but still have some free choice about how far is too far? What would you give up not to see a certain principle you hold dear apply to someone you are close to?
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